Raising girls -- and what the heck would I know about it?

Listening to an interview by NY Times reporter Peggy Orenstein who’s written a book: “Cinderella Ate My Daughter,” and she writes about the Disneyfication, the “Kim Kardashaianization” of girls and girl culture these days especially in this country, and it reminds me again how very, very, very grateful I am to have had a son. 

I vividly remember sitting in my doctor’s office in 1985, almost five months along, convincing him to do an ultrasound so I could finally know once and for all, Is it a girl or a boy?  He couldn’t talk me out of it, not even in his humorous and gentle way.  So much easier to raise a boy.  For me anyway.  And then I was blessed with a good-natured, late-sleeping, energetic, imaginative, athletic, and humorous son.  I could not have gotten luckier.  Raising a girl today means suffering eighteen years or more of pink and pretty, and sexualization of girls, and the pressure to be pretty on top of competent, could be a bit overwhelming for any parent.  So much easier to raise a boy to respect girls and women than to convince a girl that she is more than her looks and willingness to please, despite the barrage of contrary messages from society; constantly fighting against the tide of objectification and sexism, sometimes – oftentimes -- against the wishes of a little girl who might succumb occasionally to society’s propaganda and pressure, and just wants to be like other girls.  That’s a big job.   It’s probably not as big a chore as I think, but it’s probably not easy.

If I had had a girl, I would have undertaken the task of rearing a fully realized girl, and it would have been a full-time job to counteract the messages that girls get today, or twenty years ago.  We would have had to endure a thoroughly pink toy aisle, Barbie commercials, and beauty products aimed at seven year olds.  Having a boy -- almost as if somebody up there were looking out for me :)  -- meant childhood was largely fun, energetic, tomboyish, and silly without the weightier worries of the parent of a girl.  That’s not all it was and it was not without its trauma and scares, but it was pretty fun. 

I can imagine some people will say that you can do the same things with a girl that you can with a boy…  I get that.  I’m just feeling really fortunate after hearing Ornstein’s interview.

It was easy to tell Martin no, we probably weren’t going to see the latest Disney movie each year (even though I relented and then quite enjoyed The Little Mermaid).  Ace Ventura and Ninja Turtles I would have taken my daughter to see, but nobody enjoys a good talking-butt joke like the boys do.  For this I am constantly, still, and forevermore grateful. 

I’m thanking Steve Scher for a fascinating and funny interview and Ms. Orenstein for an interesting perspective on raising children.